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Thursday's Child Has Far to Go
Miss McNally: Knit Wit
wow, so...i'm in chatham! Seeing Peggy for the first time since August is amazing. I love her so :)

chatham is an odd town - when it's late at night and you're driving around, smoking your last american spirit, drinking malibu from a sippy cup and thinking there is absolutely no life here other than you and your hot comrade in your orange beetle convertible...BAM! you run into funky south africans who totally want to mack it with peggy! (and a bouncer at Roo Bar who is willing to let you in even though you're "19"...erm, ok...17..)

it's a different sort of atmosphere - being here, scouting out boys for peggy whilst simulteaneously missing a boy back home... no....scratch that...being totally crazy about a boy back home.

and now enough pensive-ness...more malibu, please!

je suis...: contemplative contemplative
j'écoute...: bright eyes - first day of my life

Knit 1, Purl 1
haven't been here in a while - i'm a myspace whore more recently / I've been busy

Rowing season has started, and with it so has beautiful weather. i forgot how alive being outside in the sun makes me feel. it's beautiful. today after rowing emma, larn and i went to nyack beach and just were lying down on a picnic table for three hours, looking out on the river or up in the sky, talking, laughing. then emma and i went to her house, ate a cupcake, and sat in her adirondack chairs in the backyard and talked for an hour. i love her, she's such an amazing person. i love my friends, even though it at times feel like we're all growing apart too quickly. but i guess that's how it goes - we're always moving on, moving out, leaving and meeting people, falling in love or pulling ourselves up by our bootstraps. For the past couple of years, I've been pulling my boot straps, and I feel like I'm finally close to standing up straight; it feels really good. People still hurt me, things said still affect me, they probably always will - but now, in general, I feel beautiful and happy on a daily basis. It's new, and I like it.
I all of a sudden have such an urge to just GO. Peg and I are backpacking through Europe this summer and I know it will be amazing. Peggy is one of the most beautiful people I know beacuse she has such a free spirit. I know we're going to have a great time.

I met a boy, i suppose. I knew him already - but I kind of re-met him - which is entirely possible, because we all change so much every day that we are always having to re-meet each other. He's really nice and I get on with him well. I don't think he likes me the way I like him (and i'm not even sure how I feel about him). I've been trying to keep my eyes & options open. Things with Mike feel, as usual, distant; I feel as if I'm being held out, far, far away from him, hanging on a shoe string that he draws in closer to himself as he pleases. I feel that I've been in a three legged race with him since August and I'm trying to run and he's standing still...so recently, I've been thinking of just cutting that damn shoe string or finishing the race by myself... even if I'm not over him; even if I still want him to feel about me the way I do about him. But honestly? I don't think he's ever felt as much for me as I've felt for him, and he never will. Or, if he does, he has a pretty confusing way of showing it...and frankly, i'm tired of trying to figure him out. I'm tired of this dragging me down. So I think it's time to admit that I fucked up and begin to move on; it's been a long time coming, and so now, I think I'd best be going.

je suis...: calm calm
j'écoute...: ani difranco

Knit 1, Purl 1
With the work of the Y generation, women are changing the way they play the game of politics. Lawmakers like former Governor Jane Swift and Senator Mary Landrieu have pioneered a move away from the days when women waited their turn. They are showing other female politicians that they do not have to wait until their children are grown and they have slowly climbed the ladder to run for high offices. These women, and others like them, have shown that women can do it all. They have husbands, families, and flourishing political careers at the same time, and they made that possible by changing the rules of politics to suit their needs as women.
Unfortunately, not all families, political establishments, and constituencies of voters have adapted as well as those that these two women have been members of. Changes must take place so that women like Senator Lanrieu and former Governor Swift are not the expectations but are the norm. These changes must begin in the homes of political women and their husbands. Men with political wives must be willing to take on at least an equal share of their families domestic responsibilities. Jane Swift’s husband, for example, became the primary caregiver of their daughter upon her election to the lieutenant governorship. The husbands of female politicians are not going to decide to do this on their own however, if the concept of a stay-at-home dad is continued to be stigmatized. Society must allow for men to be primary caregivers, for they are no less qualified than women, and if they do not to take on new domestic roles, women will not be able to effectively balance work and family. Let alone the practical implications of managing the double burden, the psychological issues that result from campaigning, governing, and being a primary caregiver are enough to keep many qualified women out of politics.
The changes women need to make and have made for them are not just in their homes but also within government and their political parties. More women must act as Virgina politician Shirley Cooper did when she was told that her county board meetings could not be rearranged to meet her needs as the mother of children in preschool. She brought her children and set them up in a play pen in the county chambers, and as a result, the meetings were moved to an evening time. Like the government institutions, political parties must also change. They must be willing to invest time and money in young women, who, if supported by their parties, will run for high offices. Most women do not ask to be held back and the mommy track is introduced to them, though falsely, as a way to climb the ladder and still maintain their roles as primary caregivers. If husbands take on more responsibilities at home, then political parties can no longer use the excuse of women being mothers to keep them out of high-profile races.
The only way husbands, government institutions, and political parties that are supportive of women in politics are going to become the norm and not the exception in the long-run is if the perceptions of women change. This is going to take more than a few strong-willed women and progressive men, for it speaks to society as a whole. While people learn from what they see, and as time goes on they will see more women in politics and government, there must be an active effort to change the views the public has of women in these fields. Children must be taught that women are equally capabale of doing any job, and they must be encouraged by their families, teachers, and communities to be active in politics. Working mothers in other professions must also be aided with better family leave packages and more flexible hours so as to enable them to be successful in their own fields. They will then be less hostile to the idea of women in positions of power if they no longer feel as if other women can do it all but they cannot. Men must be willing to take equal responsibility for their families and be supportive of their wives political careers, which will happen more freely if men with wives in other professions are adapting as well.
There are many who believe that women will change politics and government, and they are correct. Women are human beings, capable of mistakes and lapses in judgment, just as men are, so it is not likely that they will “clean-up” politics. They will however, change government and politics to be fields that are more family-friendly and conducive to female legislators. Women have not yet reached their destination of equal representation in their political journey, but they will get there sooner rather than later.

je suis...: busy busy
j'écoute...: ani difranco - talk to me now

Knit 1, Purl 1
I'm going to London in February.

I'm terrified.


But on a different note:

I was in a focus group, including myself, Julia, Andrew, Erik and a junior today; we talked about the relationship between youth and politics. It was actually a good conversation. It made me think a lot about what I want out of my democracy. It's true we have the right to vote, but although it is a right, it's not obligatory and in my opinion, yields little or nothing as far as the whole process is concerned. I feel like my generation feels a disconnect, a disillusionment with their own government. When the concept of a "teenager" and youth culture emerged in the 50s, I don't think anyone envisioned that such a strong dichotomy would form, separating and isolating youth culture from our country. After LBJ called it quits in the 60s, our government has roped itself off from the people with its overtly pragmatic and conservative beliefs. I'm a Clinton baby, and after growing up with a president that didn't adhere to the conservative movement, the election of Bush to office shocked me; his re-election shocked me even more. How can this man whose entire political agenda rests upon an unorganized, largely hypocritical vague ideology be so powerful? He's charismatic in a way, in the way Hitler was charismatic; my mother thinks he's honest and patriotic. I don't see it. I'll begin by pointing out one major flaw in his beliefs: he wont stand abortions or destroying and embryo for stem cell research because it's murder, yet he'll approve the lethal injection of a full grown human being who has committed a crime. Thou shalt not kill? I don't think so. The worst kind of moralist is a floozy deontologyst with a vague sense of morals and a misguided sense of power.
But that aside.
If today's news becomes the public policy five years from now - why isn't our government reaching out to youth? Trust me, I don't want the guys on cspan wearing thongs and lip synching to any of Ashcroft's ballads any time soon, but I'd like to see some sort of outreach. But I don't want Carson Daly telling me anything about my government either - The line between pop culture and politics needs to be drawn. Pop culture is more universal; it's addictive, seductive because it rests upon a frightening don't-think policy - sit and be entertained. I don't want my government dumbed down and glammed up for me - I want it like it is, but I want more access, and perhaps a new way of getting across to American Youth.
I propose more interaction. The only kind of real interaction that exists between the government and its youth (other than kids like myself marching on washington) is with teenagers like my friends Adam, Hugh and Andrea who go out there and intern or join a campaign. Although their efforts are honorable, what are they really doing? Not much. I'd like to see the administration using the intelligence and effectiveness of youth itself. I want to see the average joe-schmoe, intelligent, dedicated dwight-englewood student speaking out to people our age, engaging them in political conversations and informing them. Unfortunately not everyone in America goes to a school like I do where political banter is daily and welcome; unfortunately, higher education is not available to everyone in America - but if they can watch their tv or read, we can affect them. I do NOT want Lindsay Lohan as the messenger for this cause though, I want average every day people - the true symbol of democracy: an average young person granted the gifts of a democratic society (intelligence, awareness & a voice) - who better to become a voice for what the administration wants to reform or push for than the youth that will go on to lead the country in a few years? I may only be seventeen, but I know that what Bush said tonight in his state of the union is going to directly affect me probably very soon. We can march on washington all we want - but honestly, the power of protest died with the sixties and seventies. We can bitch and moan about Bush but what are we doing? We can want to be involved and work our asses off like my friends who intern - but will they be heard? They're young, they're important and I think the government needs to treat young adults for what they are: the future policy and decision makers.

I'm ranting, sorry. This isn't very coherent.

je suis...: cranky cranky

Knit 1, Purl 1
oye veh.... the last 24 hours haven't been the hottest for me.

Last night at 1 am my toilet decided to overflow. I'm not talking about rising-to-the-top-of-the-bowl water level, I mean the it's-on-the-floor-i'm-wading-in-toilet water overflow. it was GROSS. I couldn't wake my mother up because, well, she's crazy, and waking up crazy people at 1am with a crisis that could ruin hardwood floors is a very bad idea.

So there I was at 1am, pajama pants rolled up, toilet lid off...I managed to grab a plunger and make use of the long shaft by sticking it into the mechanism bit inside the toilet to make the water stop gushing into the bowl. It remains like that still. I'm quite impressed by my elementary plumbing skills...though I must say I should hope my ass looks slightly better hanging out of my pants than the average plumber....

So after that ordeal I went to bed and managed to get three hours in - only to wake up in the morning to my psychotic mother. "Why where you up at 1 am last night?!?! It's a school night blah blah blah bitch bitch bitch" clearly i couldn't tell her that the toilet exploded, because it was 7am and i was a little late so I just didn't want to go there. Then she starts yelling at me about how my schedule isn't "intense" enough for second semester and that I'll never be able to transfer to Oxford with a "sloppy second semester senior year". Then I proceeded to becoming enraged and yelling back at her - she took this as a sign of my impending mental break down and decided that I couldn't possibly brave two highways while driving to school. I started to leave, she started yelling and running after my car in the driveway. I gave her the middle finger, rolled down my window and said "eat shit."

a) what the fuck!?! It's 7am and she's yelling at me about this kind of crap AGAIN?
b) the reason I have an easier schedule this semester is because I literally killed myself first semester with SEVEN majors so that I could get into Bryn Mawr - the school I so desperately wanted and still want to go to.
d) why isn't bryn mawr good enough for me to go to in her eyes? why does she want me to transfer?

e) after salvaging our house from near destruction via toilet water last night, I REALLY didn't want to wake up to screaming. get me out of here, jesus mary and joseph oh my god.

je suis...: pissed off pissed off

Knit 1, Purl 1
oh yes...

I found an old dress of my mother's in her closet....
Housewife stylin'....

I can be foxy AND back a cake ... what more can anybody want from a woman?



Under the tuscan sun chic? oh yes....Collapse )

je suis...: lazy lazy
j'écoute...: assorted beth orton songs

Knit 1, Purl 1
i have a migraine.
Knit 1, Purl 1
TODAY:
+ i finished my knit clutch! wee! (will post a piccy soon)
+ i got an A+ on my masters of modernism exam, making the final exam tally: A+, A+, A,
A, A, B+
+ plans for California are going well!
- I realized I'm a fatty


I got home and I slept from 7pm - 10:45 pm. What the heck is wrong with me lately? All i do is sleep for hours and hours. Do I have mono? Oye...nooo thank you. I haven't done a bit of homework - I don't think I have any. (WHAT?!)
I need to go into New York to get my hair messed with. IIIII think Carolyn and Jamie should come meet me (yes yes you know you want to my sillies)

I have an Erg race at Fordham this Saturday. 2 k ... kill me now.

on another note, i've realize that my idealism has reached pathtic new heights and I am as hopeless a romantic as there ever was.

But don't you just love it?

je suis...: yay
j'écoute...: the frug: rilo kiley

2 stitches x.x.x. Knit 1, Purl 1
me when i met jw:


oh my goodness...the spaces in between.

me after leaving jw:

je suis...: okay okay
j'écoute...: Wandering Star - portishead

1 stitch x.x.x. Knit 1, Purl 1
Type your username with your:
nose: m9issmcnally
elbow: mikssmcnasl,ly
tongue: missmmcnally
chin: middmcmaii
eyes closed and one finger: misxsmcnaqlloy
palm: mni8ssm,cfmnsw;oly

je suis...: blah blah
j'écoute...: something to talk about - badly drawn boy

1 stitch x.x.x. Knit 1, Purl 1